Mr. and Mrs. Invisible

Gerald and Deanne at hotel suite
The invisible couple meet Grace
Meeting Madge and Midge
Gerald enters his PIN on the keypad A burglar must have been here!
©2014 James H. Vipond


While planning their 11th anniversary “second honeymoon” trip, Gerald and Deanne arrange to have the twins stay with an uncle and aunt.

After checking in at their hotel and entering their suite for the first time:
Deanne: “Jerry, where can we go when we’re both invisible?”
Gerald: “We’re in luck, Deanne. Our hotel’s nightclub is having a costume party tonight.”
Deanne: “So?”
Gerald: “So we can go as we are, in street clothes with gloves, bandanas and dark glasses! As long as we don’t stay more than three hours, the other partygoers will think we’re just wearing those ‘invisible’ novelty costumes!”
Deanne: “But, Jerry, I thought you said we weren’t using our invisibility for mischief!”
Gerald: “A costume party is usually not mischief. We can leave our wedding rings here, in our suite.”
Deanne: “You may wear a bandana and glasses if you want, but I have a better costume in mind.”

Gerald and Deanne arrive at the party. He is dressed as “The Disco Phantom”, complete with gold neck chains, and she appears as “The Invisible Amazon”. They are surrounded by men and women dressed in a variety of costumes. Two hours after the Whitakers arrive, another female guest approaches them.
Party guest: “My name is Grace. Say, those costumes are fantastic! How do you two achieve that invisibility effect?”
Invisible!Deanne: “It’s simple. My husband and I really are invisible.”
Invisible!Gerald: “Yes, and if you’ll have someone bring us two large sacks, we’ll prove it!”

An employee of the hotel brings out a sack for each spouse. To everyone’s shock, Gerald and Deanne gradually strip to nothing, dropping their clothes and accessories into their respective sacks. With no visible trace left of the Whitakers’ bodies, both sacks rise from the floor and begin to float toward the elevator. The crowd hears two disembodied voices: a rugged but civilized baritone and a cute but mature soprano.
Invisible!Gerald: “Are you with me, Deanne?”
Invisible!Deanne: “Yes, Jerry, but I feel awkward, standing here naked!”
Invisible!Gerald: “I’m naked, too, so just pick up your sack and follow me!”

After they exit the elevator on the second floor, still carrying the full sacks and unaware that they have begun to materialize, Gerald and Deanne encounter two women, both of whom are fully clothed and apparently in their 50s.
Gerald: “Good evening, ladies.”
Woman #1: “Hello, young man.”
Deanne: “Keep going, Jerry.”
After Gerald and Deanne go on their way:
Woman #1: “Now there’s something you don’t see every day, Midge.”
Woman #2: “What’s that, Madge?”
Woman #1: “A naked couple who are just materializing from nowhere.”
Scared speechless, Madge and Midge look at each other.

Gerald and Deanne finally arrive at their suite. Gerald takes a glove out of his sack, he enters his four-digit PIN on the keypad next to the door, and the door unlocks.
Gerald: “I never did want to be an invisible streaker.”
Deanne, nervously: “I never wanted to be invisible, period!”

Upon entering their suite, Gerald and Deanne find their bedroom in disarray.
Gerald: “Oh, no! What happened to our bedroom?!”
Deanne: “Jerry, we left our wedding rings on the nightstand next to the clock-radio, and now they’re gone!”
Gerald: “What?!”
Deanne: “A thief must have broken into our suite while we were out, and stolen our platinum wedding rings!”
Gerald: “That’s awful! Let’s get dressed, and then I’ll call hotel security!”

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