James H. Vipond
Two college freshmen meet outside a convenience store and have
Alex: “Hey, Ben, I just saw the weirdest thing at the
Ben: “You mean the hot blond couple, Jerry and
Alex: “The same. You know that their house doesn’t
Ben: “Yeah, so?”
Alex: “So I was passing by their bedroom window yesterday,
and I saw the mattress rise off their bed, turn halfway around,
and descend back onto the bed! But I didn’t see the
Whitakers themselves, only the mattress!”
Ben: “That does sound creepy! Say, Alex, I once
Japanese movie—with English subtitles—where a
nerdy guy has little red pills that make him invisible.”
Ben: “He gives his daughter some of the pills, and she
swallows one, and it makes her invisible, too! And in
order to be invisible, the man and the woman have to
Alex: “You think it’s the same with the
Ben: “Let’s find out tonight, Alex! I’ll meet
you behind their house. Bring your binoculars!”
As night falls, Alex and Ben, both wearing hooded jackets, hide
behind shrubbery near the Whitakers’ bedroom window,
hoping to see the sexy Deanne Whitaker in all her naked glory.
Gerald and Deanne are unaware of the voyeurs’ presence.
Ben: “Yo, Alex! It’s time to check out the Whitaker
Alex: “I brought my binoculars!”
Ben: “And I have mine! This is going to be sweet!”
Alex: “Quiet, Ben. Just watch.”
They watch eagerly as Deanne takes off her wedding ring, sets it
with her husband’s ring on the nightstand, and unties her
At that very moment, Alex sneezes.
Ben: “Bless you.”
During Alex’s extended sneezing fit, Deanne’s nude
body vanishes as her bathrobe slips off her arms onto the floor.
As Alex and Ben turn back to the window, the bathrobe rises from
the floor and floats toward a peg on the wall.
Alex: “Sorry, dude, I just couldn’t stop
Ben: “Hey, the bedroom light just went out!”
Alex: “She must have just gone to bed.”
Ben: “Aw, man, we missed the good stuff.”
Alex: “Come on, dude, let’s go home.”