James H. Vipond
The Whitakers learn that Maisie Lou Wright, the vice principal of
the city’s middle school, has been discriminating against
students and teachers who openly express their Christian faith, or
even question secular humanist doctrines.
Gerald and Deanne attend the middle school’s
Parents’ Night in hope that their twins will receive a
After the catered meal, Gerald and Deanne approach
Maisie’s office while she is out. Having stripped to
nothing and stashed their clothes into their tote bags, Mr.
& Mrs. Invisible take advantage of a conveniently open door
to enter the office and examine the personnel files in
Maisie’s file cabinet.
Invisible!Deanne: “Look at this, Jerry! For the past
year, Maisie Wright has been discriminating against students and
staff who did things that are perfectly legal!”
Invisible!Gerald: “Such as …?”
Invisible!Deanne: “For one thing, she told the biology
instructor to penalize any student who disagrees with
Invisible!Gerald: “I found one, too: She sacked the
boys’ basketball coach because she recognized him and his
wife in a TV report on a gathering for traditional marriage. And
it was in another city, during the summer break!”
The papers return to their file folder, the folder returns to
its drawer in the file cabinet, and the drawer closes.
Invisible!Deanne: “Jerry, how could she be so
Invisible!Gerald: “I understand that though Maisie herself
is heterosexual, she supports same-sex ‘marriage’.
Though her name is Wright, her attitude is wrong.”
The Whitakers’ tote bags appear to rise and float out of
Invisible!Gerald: “And her boss, the principal, seems to
encourage her acts of discrimination! Let’s go, Deanne,
before someone catches us naked.”
Maisie later invites Gerald and Deanne, now fully visible and
fully clothed, to her home. Maisie offers her guests herbal
tea—unknown to her, it is the specific blend of tea that
makes them invisible!
Maisie: “I’m looking forward to having your twins as
first-year students at the middle school! I love those pine and
lemon scents you both are wearing!”
Just as Gerald and Deanne start to drink their tea,
Maisie’s landline telephone rings. She gets up to enter an
Maisie: “Pardon me. I have to see who is calling.”
Unaware of the tea’s effect on her guests, Maisie returns
to her living room. She sees two empty tea cups and two vacant
seats, as well as Deanne’s satchel, which (unknown to
Maisie) contains Gerald’s and Deanne’s shoes and
Maisie: “Sorry to keep you two waiting, but one of my
adult daughters was calling from out of state. Gerald? Deanne?
Where did they go?
“⟨Such rude guests! I certainly won’t be
inviting them here again! I can still smell pine and lemon. Oh,
Just as Maisie starts to sit down with a paperback novel, Mr.
& Mrs. Invisible tell her in disguised voices why she sucks.
Invisible!Gerald, grabbing Maisie’s arm: “MAISIE
LOU WRIGHT! STOP ABUSING
YOUR AUTHORITY AS VICE PRINCIPAL!”
Invisible!Deanne, snatching the book: “LET YOUR
STUDENTS KNOW THEIR RIGHTS!”
Maisie: “What is going on? Whoever—whatever
you are, leave me alone!”
Suddenly, the book drops to the table, Maisie’s arm is
freed, and Deanne’s satchel floats out the front door.
As she picks up her book, Maisie hears a car engine start. She
looks out her living room window. She watches in stunned silence
as the Whitakers’ seemingly unoccupied convertible backs
out of her driveway and takes off down the road.
Maisie: “I’ve read about those self-driving cars,
but a self-driving convertible? ”
A week later, Gerald calls his wife’s attention to a
front-page article in the local newspaper.
Gerald: “Deanne, did you hear? Maisie Wright has just
resigned her position at the middle school, effective at the end
of the current semester!”
Deanne: “We scared her that badly, did we?”
Gerald: “I cannot say for sure.”