This is my first attempt at creating a game show for children. I don’t expect Jake Tanner to agree with me on this, but Summer Sanders has done a youth game show, so why not a stacked 60-pounder (the photo at left is cropped from one sent by a friend of Patty), especially since someone on the newsgroup suggested a Krofft-style game show? Think of it as Shop Till You Drop done the right way. On 2003 August 01, Maloney herself sent me an email, telling how impressed she was with this idea.
Host: Patty Maloney
Announcer: Franklin Welker
Before the show, photographs of animals are cut into quarters and each of the children in the audience is given 1/4 of an animal photo. Welker names two animals (say, an elephant and a tiger) and the four children whose picture fragments represent each named animal come onstage as teammates. Each team should comprise two boys and two girls. Maloney enters the set by a stairway. The teams are given helmets of contrasting colors and the oldest child on each team is designated the captain.
Each show consists of three stunts. Completing a stunt successfully or outscoring the opposing team entitles that team’s captain (or, in the case of one-on-one contests, whichever team member participated in the stunt) to take a prize card out of a shoebox and receive that prize, regardless of the final outcome of the show. A running point score will be kept as well, carrying over from one stunt to the next. At the end of the show, each member of the higher-scoring team receives a savings bond. The lower-scoring team gets a dollar for every point, the total to be divided four ways.
Peanut Hunt: Before the stunt begins, stagehands hide peanuts throughout a designated area within the set. Maloney gives each child a small dish. At a signal, the children have 60 seconds to find as many peanuts as possible (no fair eating them!) and fill their dishes. This stunt is a test not only of speed and observation, but also of willpower. As peanuts are found, a running total for each team is displayed on the home viewer’s screen. The team with more peanuts after 60 seconds is the winner.
Potato Spearing: Each child has been given a fork and a large uncooked potato. The children should stand at least 12 inches apart to avoid jabbing one another. At a signal, they throw their potatoes in the air and try to spear them with their forks as the potatoes come down. Whenever a potato is successfully speared, the team gets one point. After five attempts per player, the higher-scoring team wins the stunt; a perfect score is 20 points. In the event of a tie, each team selects one member to play rock-scissors-paper.
Compound Words: One member of each team plays in this stunt, with two identical flannel boards. Each board is divided into two columns: Each picture in the right column must be placed next to a picture in the left column such that when any pair is named aloud, a valid English word is formed. No picture may be used in more than one pair. Whoever gets more right in 30 seconds is the winner and gets 25 points. Example: A picture of a worm would be placed next to a picture of a book to make “bookworm”.
Shoot Out the Candle: Children take turns trying to extinguish a burning candle, resting on a plate or tray about 6 to 8 feet away, with an ordinary water pistol (none of those huge Super Soaker rifles!). When the candle is extinguished, the team gets one point and a stagehand relights the candle. After each child has had one shot, the higher-scoring team wins.
Boat Race: A television display next to Maloney’s lectern shows a board like this (the consonant pairs given are examples):
| BL | CH | ST | GR | FINISH |
|---|---|---|---|---|
 |
||||
|
Give me your comments about this idea!
My Comments
Nickelodeon all but dominates the genre of children’s game shows, and few have succeeded without the use of food or messy stunts. The host I have chosen epitomizes both innocent childhood and dignified maturity, but nonetheless I must give low priority to this idea: After her appearance in the 1999 film Twin Falls Idaho, Maloney has gone on sabbatical and become more selective about the roles she accepts. Not only does the show’s originality stop at the set design, but changing the host would likely mean changing the title.
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